…Love Actually
I guess people are never really contented …when people are single they’re always longing for love, but when they’re with someone most often than not, they wish they’d be single again…I’ve already been in both situation and now I’m back to being single again, some times I enjoy the freedom and independence but after dark when I lie alone in my sleep…it just dawns on me that I want some one on the other side of the bed…
…The best part of this whole “love” cycle is the first part…always just the first part, the “can’t eat can’t sleep moments”, the “I wanna jump over the fence kind of thing”, the “kilig moments”, the “can’t wait to start another day “… but like what Bamboo sings in his song…”pagbago ang pag-ibig… masaya”…parang droga, sa una lang masarap…” …when you get to the stage where relationship and commitment comes to perspective, some of us just wanna duck and hide for cover…there are always fights, tears…cry me a river tampuhans…all the works…the making up and breaking bull…sigh…and then the breaking up part…those moments when you wish you should never have loved at all…
Sometimes the hardest to recover from is when the ex found some one already, makes your world turn upside down…its probably the ego thing speaking…makes you feel so small and unimportant. In my case, it made me feel really scared…I dunno…until now I’m still scared that there would never be anyone in this world that I’ll love and accept me for that love…I’ll just keep on moving…
Last night I was reading, there were some stuff about this love thing…makes me wonder when I’d feel love again, when I’d feel that I love a person so much it hurts and it makes you cry…I used to love that feeling…that your chest hurts so much inside but not because your emotionally hurt but because you love so much…I can’t even explain it…
Right now, I feel like obsessing about some one again…I can’t sleep just thinking about that person, makes me smile and frown at the same time…The other day I was quoting a line from the movie Love Actually…(the scene where a little boy told Liam Neeson that he was in love)…”What could be worse than the agony of being in love?”…We were just laughing about it…of course the worst part is when you ‘re broken by that love…but its just funny how the film says it…and I keep saying it that day…I’m not really in love, I’m sure of it…the possibility just makes me wonder…it’s frustrating to wait in vain when you’re not sure if the other person feels the same or not…
Well, til I get a stupid sign, I’m just gonna wait…you don’t really have to look for love, it just finds you…I don’t believe in dating and courtship…my friends keeps setting me up on dates, i usually play along with it but you can never force a person to love you, you just die with frustration…I wonder who’ll come for me, who’ll be sent for me…makes me wanna hum that old fairytale song…”someday my prince will come…” In my case, it doesn’t have to be a prince, could be anyone, guy or girl…I wouldn’t know…I couldn’t wait for the package to arrive on my door… 
September 21st, 2005 at 5:27 am
Hakuna Matata! It means no worries for the rest of your days! It’s a problem-free philosophy!
October 3rd, 2005 at 9:14 am
Interesting title for an interesting blog. Quite the corollary to the movie, but hey, it’s your take! How pessimistic can you get, dear friend? You forget, I ponder, what the title movie tries to bring across (in beautiful fashion, I might add). You forget that, as Hugh Grant had whimsically put it, “Love Actually Is All Around.” Yes, love can be nothing but the most agonizing thing in the world, but that is the beauty of it! Would you rather not have hurt and live your life not knowing how it is? Wouldn’t you think that it was that hurting that made you a whole being? It touched you, and by doing so, it allowed you to be magically permissible. No dear, love is not the best at the start. Love is the most wonderful while it is there. You have forgotten, in your pain, that inside the walls of being in love, you had a powerful purpose: you were entitled to be. To exist with the knowledge and beauty of love. Yes, it was painful to fight, to be forgotten, to be uncared for, to be scarred. But it is nothing but blissful to be hugged, kissed, endeared, and thought of. Do not forget that. Love actually is all around. =)